Posted by 101livescan on 12/2/12 9:04am
Msg #445319
Good morning, finally, rain, rain, rain!
Yesterday, I did go to town 20 minutes away to pick up dog food, gas up, make bank deposit and have lunch with a couple of friends at Zagat rated restaurant as it rained all night and day here on the mountain! Such a treat after a wild and crazy month, long days and nights. I thought November would be slow, but quite the opposite. So decided that I will hang out at home and watch everything green up in the yard. So beautiful here on the Central Coast after a very hot and dry, long summer that kept creeping back on us between coastal fog periods.
Yesterday morning, I resigned my auction gig with 30 day notice, as BofA is handing 2/3 of the case files to Auction.com for fast dissolution before year end. Not sure what that is about, but no longer a profitable piece of my biz, so tata! to going to the courthouse every day at 1pm to handle foreclosure sales and posting notice of trustee sales on borrowers front doors in the wee hours of the morning as the sun rises. Four years running is a long time, longer than when I did this in the 80s and 90s.
For some reason, Chase Harps really picked up in my area, and I had orders coming out my ears. Love those Chase loans, although the procedural road block hurdles are cumbersome at times, late docs, no docs, etc.
Hence, I missed all the fun you've been having at Karla/OR's expense. I have been reading and rereading Karla's posts and posters responses. Peg, thank you for taking the time to post something I've been wanting to say for long, long time. It seems that some on this forum have lost all civility and respect for each other and for yourselves. Those of you who've been on this board for as long as I have remember how far Becca/FL pushed the envelope and finally was exiled from NR. I've decided that until this forum grows up and stops some of the nasty, insulting, bullying, unprofessional and unkind behavior, I won't be reading/posting here. Some of you are not the kind of people I would spend one nanosecond with 1:1, and I'm certainly not going to do so on this forum.
Those of you with the nasty dispositions know who you are..you've been told repeatedly, you've been asked politely, sometimes unpolitely to knock it off. I'm pretty sure PAW would be very disappointed at some of the tacky, unfriendly, unsavory posts on this board. Don't you know that God sees, hears, watches everything?
Until this board cleans up, shuts up and presents a better membership contribution and becomes more professional, I won't be spending my valuable time here. Frankly, I'm embarrassed at the lack of humanness in some of you! Shame on you. Who would hire you if they read how nasty and belittling you can be. I have missed the Signing Registry. Lots of great folks, professional and resourceful, not mean, cutting and condescending. I hope that this board can grow into maturity from this childish, evil mentality. This behavior would never have been tolerated by the Poston's and PAW! You would have been cut out just as Becca/FL was from this board. Most of the friends I've made here on NR are the best people on the planet, but a handful are rotten to your very core! I hope you can turn it around.
Thanks again, Peg. Your post packed a wallop. I hope some people "get it". Everyone, have a great monthend, yearend...I'm banking on it. I am positively positive it's going to be a wild and crazy month.
Happy Holidays to One and All and May God Bless You with prosperity in all ways, health, happiness and friendship.
Cheryl Elliott
Santa Barbara County Notary Public
| Reply by sueharke on 12/2/12 11:03am
Msg #445322
I liked what your wrote in your post (would never say like on Facebook as that is not private anymore). I'm in Sacramento and I have the same rain issues as you do. My non-metal carport cover is no more because of the storm. Oh well, that is minor replaceable storm damage.
| Reply by sigtogo/OR on 12/2/12 12:52pm
Msg #445330
certainly your choice to leave the forum Cheryl but....
if you want to see positive change here, perhaps being an example of what you want to see would be more effective than never posting. I agree that there are some mean spirited comments. However, for the most part there is a lot of good information exchanged and yes that sometimes means tough critiques. I try to look for the learning and disregard what might be perceived as malicious.
happy holiday to you as well. Donna
| Reply by LKT/CA on 12/2/12 1:27pm
Msg #445332
<<<Hence, I missed all the fun you've been having at Karla/OR's expense. I have been reading and rereading Karla's posts and posters responses. Peg, thank you for taking the time to post something I've been wanting to say for long, long time. It seems that some on this forum have lost all civility and respect for each other and for yourselves. Those of you who've been on this board for as long as I have remember how far Becca/FL pushed the envelope and finally was exiled from NR. I've decided that until this forum grows up and stops some of the nasty, insulting, bullying, unprofessional and unkind behavior, I won't be reading/posting here. ..... >>>
I reread the original thread in question - #445084 - one post at a time. I did not see ONE disrespectful, mean-sprited, condescending, bullying post in response to Karla's post. If there were, please provide the specific message number(s).
I agree with what Donna McDaniel, LindaH/FL and ReneeK/MI wrote regarding doc privacy issues. And not one of their posts was rude, cutting, flaming, or berating. They asked questions based on the info the OP *volunteered* and if anyone is most knowledgable, professional, respectful and has words of value to contribute, it's Donna, Linda, and Renee. Besides their posts, I still didn't see any post I'd classify as unprofessional. I saw no name calling or personal attacks by anyone. If there were, please refer me to the specific message numbers.
When notaries post on a public forum, they should *expect* that there may be questions about whatever info they volunteer in their posts. And because someone writes an opposing opinion and/or doesn't agree with their vent does not deem the responder's words as flaming and unprofessional.
You want to talk about sick and tired? I'll tell you what I'm sick and tired of. I'm sick and tired of reading the whining/moaning (a.k.a. venting) from notaries <notaries whose profiles show they have more than a few years of Notary SA experience> that have **allowed themselves** to be mistreated, short changed, and undervalued, by TWO star deadbeats they knowingly and willingly accepted work from. I'm sick and tired of reading the whining/moaning (a.k.a. venting) from notaries who act surprised when they are shafted out of their $70 fee for the same appt five refi, eight borrowers, 100 miles one way, 10:30pm, full package fax back signing.
I'm sick and tired of the bellyaching and tantrums from notaries who have an employee mentality and lack business acumen. They *allow* low/slow/no pay, low-brow, half-baked, boiler room operations to bulldoze them, then they come here and *expect* coddling and sympathy. When they don't get it, now constructive criticism and assistance are viewed as "evil, mean-spirited, cutting, belittling, know-it-all posts from the NSA *gods*. If you only want agreement and no opposition to what you VOLUNTEER in your posts, perhaps you'd be happier posting on the other forums where everybody agrees and gets along. Debate keeps this forum active and resourceful. JMHO
| Reply by Karla/OR on 12/2/12 3:38pm
Msg #445340
"I reread the original thread in question - #445084 - one post at a time. I did not see ONE disrespectful, mean-sprited, condescending, bullying post in response to Karla's post. If there were, please provide the specific message number(s)."
LKT, it came in the form of a PM to me.
| Reply by Donna McDaniel on 12/2/12 5:37pm
Msg #445346
Why don't you just post it already..... n/m
| Reply by Linda_H/FL on 12/2/12 5:43pm
Msg #445347
My own personal opinion - this whole thing has gotten
quite enough air time - if it happened in P/M it really should have been resolved that way.
But that's just my own personal opinion...let it go...let's move on
| Reply by Karla/OR on 12/3/12 3:33am
Msg #445372
DUH moment - ignore my posts- under wrong person. n/m
| Reply by Karla/OR on 12/3/12 3:00am
Msg #445367
OKAY!!! n/m
| Reply by Karla/OR on 12/3/12 3:01am
Msg #445368
OKY!!! n/m
| Reply by Karla/OR on 12/3/12 3:02am
Msg #445369
OKAY!!! (GEEZ - 3rd times the charm!) n/m
| Reply by LKT/CA on 12/2/12 7:01pm
Msg #445349
<<<LKT, it came in the form of a PM to me.>>>
I'm sorry you were personally attacked via PM. Easy way to stop PM personal attacks - just threaten to publicly repost the entire message, along with the arthur's name, in the Discussion Forum.
I do believe spouses and others can be of great support to the NSA - like riding along with us for evening signings **and staying in the car**, running errands to get extra supplies (paper, folders, etc.), getting the auto gassed and maybe washed if needed. But I am of the opinion that the control and responsibility for unpackaged, unsealed loan docs rests solely with the NSA. Those docs are for the NSA's eyes only. I believe that is what the hiring party expects, due to the nature of our contract with them.
As I stated earlier - any part of a post can be questioned and while you may be addressing one specific point, others may respond to or critique a different point in a post. And "vents" are subject to critique the same as direct questions.
| Reply by jba/fl on 12/2/12 10:41pm
Msg #445360
If it comes in a PM, do re-post the entire PM on the forum. It has been a while, but I've been PM'ed some very strong language that I felt entirely undeserving, so did just that, calling the person out by full name and state. That is so cowardly; that, and those who don't link to their posts being very snide and/or downright hateful.
I really love those anonymous ones stating that they would never hire me because I don't agree with their position, therefore, I must be an ugly person. Since those people don't even believe in themselves enough to identify themselves, they are not to be believed anyway.
| Reply by Shoshana/AZ on 12/2/12 2:00pm
Msg #445334
an entrepreneur has to be a grown up.
That means being mature enough to search for answers, not come on this board and expect people to give up their best companies and contacts to them and not to whine.
I see nothing wrong in allowing a close family member (spouse for example) to drop docs that are in a sealed envelope. I give my packages to the FedEx driver, how do I know if I can trust him to not look in a package?
I went through the school of hard knocks to get where I am (as did most of you out there).
I personally get annoyed when I see the same person asking the same question numerous times and expecting a different answer. Maybe somebody else has patience for that. I don't. Ifso, more power to you!
I am also sick of people who take up space on this board to post about non-paying companies. Grow up! If they have a bad reputation, don't work for them. It's just common sense. If you work for a low baller and it fits your business model, well then, go for it!
You all have the right to run your business as you see fit!
Cheryl, in your own post, you are name calling. How will that fix things?
| Reply by GOLDGIRL/CA on 12/2/12 2:15pm
Msg #445335
Re: an entrepreneur has to be a grown up.
I think the written word sometimes comes across sharp and biting when if we were actually sitting around talkng/debating, the atmosphere would be totally different. Like LKT said, her interpretation of the Karla thread was entirely different than yours.
We all cut each other alot of slack here; everybody's got opinions; some of us just don't kinow how to express it in the kindest/gentlest ways ... or even PC ways.
I luv alot of your posts, Cheryl, read them all and would hate to see you go, but let's get real here: talk about the pot calling the kettle black. One of the meanest posts I ever read here was from you recently (and I think you know which one I mean). Just the other day C. Rivera screeched that I was "INSANE!" (Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.).
But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop posting (sorry) or reading because there's so much of value here.
As for: "I've decided that until this forum grows up and stops some of the nasty, insulting, bullying, unprofessional and unkind behavior, I won't be reading/posting here," sigtogo/OR had the best response: Be an example of what you want to see.
We can't control the behavior/attitudes of others, we can only control our own. We all need to work on that. As soon as you dry off from all the rain, come back and share the dialog.
| Reply by BrendaTx on 12/2/12 4:59pm
Msg #445343
Re: an entrepreneur has to be a grown up.
*I see nothing wrong in allowing a close family member (spouse for example) to drop docs that are in a sealed envelope. I give my packages to the FedEx driver, how do I know if I can trust him to not look in a package?*
Shoshana - ...that and so many other examples...a spouse printing documents out for us to help us get back on the road...the computer repair guy...the brother in law who helps remove a virus...the baby sitter with access to the entire house....
The right classroom answer is "no one should ever take your documents anywhere for you..." but realistically, 99% of us are in the boat of working where people have access to our work space.
| Reply by Susan Fischer on 12/2/12 8:59pm
Msg #445354
Second that, Brenda. n/m
| Reply by Stephanie Santiago on 12/2/12 2:59pm
Msg #445338
Over the past couple of months, I've noticed that your posts
have changed greatly - as if you are frustrated. I don't understand from a business point of view - you obviously have, almost more work than any other Notary Signing Agent in this forum; I do hope you find peace with anything that you are going through.
I hope all is well in your life; you have sounded very different in your posts over the last 2-3 months.
Stephanie
| Reply by 101livescan on 12/2/12 4:35pm
Msg #445342
Re: Over the past couple of months, I've noticed that your posts
BINGO! I so appreciate everyone's feed back here. If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful people, if you want to be energetic, surround yourself with energized people, if you want to be positive, surround yourself with positive, focused people. The beat goes on.
November was an incredible month. I just tallied the number of signings I performed in 20 work days, 141~! YIKES...no wonder I'm so comatose this weekend. I'm working on my plan of downsizing work, stuff. Working on managing my time, instead of others managing my time, i.e., overwhelming demand from vendors.
I'm dumping the foreclosure biz...too adversarial, time bandit. Looking for peace and quiet enjoyment, and painless, not grueling work.
I'm still taking a little break from NR. It's likely more me, than anyone else, I hate reading negative posts however. If anyone had told me this business was going to be so crazy this year, I wouldn't have believed it. Just one more month, and then I'm scaling down, purging house, home office, town office, mobile auto office, Lord of mercy. In January I have a trip planned to Ocala, Fl with my brother to try to sell/lease with option to buy my late father's home. Did I mention I'm remodeling my mountain residence kitchen, bath, office and master bedroom with huge fireplace? Someone, please shoot me up with some great infusion of energy, nutrients and boundless spirituality to survive all these challenges. We all need all the positive energy we can muster in daily life!....sitting here listening to the heavy rain on my metal roof, relaxing and wishing I weren't so fatigued.
I liken my existence to Lucille Ball and her cohort in the chocolate factory! In 2003 I went on a cruise to Ensenada, Baja Mexico, organized byKathy and Dave Poston of SR...it was very interesting to meet so many notaries from all over the US. I think we were 30 in attendees. We're all so regionally, subculturally different with varying codes of ethics, morales, outlooks, attitudes, mannerisms and behaviors. These are all portrayed in postings on this and any forum.
No accident there are flareups here. Would be incredibly boring if we all thought alike, yet there are many bright bulbs on this board, some time bandits, those who want everything laid out for them instead of turning on the switch and cranking up their own volume.
I'm taking a hiatus to renew and regenerate, how about that. I'm looking forward to some refreshing new views in 2013.
This board is like family, some are very distant relatives, but still family. Some of you are my best friends, others very casual...I've probably met more of you face to face than many others on this board, in California, Maryland, OR, NV, FL, CN, MO, LA, NH, AZ, IL, MN...to mention a few.
It's a great board, we just need to work on communication, just like being married!
| Reply by ToniK on 12/2/12 7:27pm
Msg #445351
I find this ABSOLUTELY hilarious
coming from a person who posted in a thread saying nasty things about a fellow notary poster and then sending out PM's to report your post so it could be removed back on 10/27/12. Then you sent another pm badmouthing another notary. Yea maybe you should take a break because you seem to need to do a little growing up yourself.
One thing I noticed is that people who post about leaving are usually looking for some attention and sympathy. You will get none from me of what I have witnessed from you in the last couple of months. Hope your break helps you to reflect on your own actions and solutions about your contributing behavior.
| Reply by Carmela Arndt on 12/2/12 8:19pm
Msg #445353
Re: Let's get something clear. Becca's departure was over
her frustration that her profile was plagiarized (by another member) and could not get anything done about it, it had nothing to do with her low tolerance of uneducated Notaries.
| Reply by ToniK on 12/2/12 9:07pm
Msg #445355
Re: Let's get something clear. Becca's departure was over
I remember that
| Reply by jba/fl on 12/2/12 10:50pm
Msg #445361
Hear, hear! True. n/m
| Reply by sigtogo/OR on 12/3/12 12:34pm
Msg #445388
since this has become about Becca, see Msg #300731
I didn't know, her so no opinion but here is message from Harry terminating her membership.
| Reply by sigtogo/OR on 12/3/12 12:36pm
Msg #445389
seems I have forgotten how to link, sorry n/m
| Reply by jba/fl on 12/3/12 4:30pm
Msg #445403
Re: seems I have forgotten how to link, sorry
Just the way that it is shown above any message on the right: Msg #300731
| Reply by SueW/Tn on 12/3/12 4:39pm
Msg #445407
Re: since this has become about Becca, see Msg #300731
I knew/know Becca and for those of you that never had the honor her knowledge and willingness to share/help others was five star. She's probably forgotten more about this industry then any five of us know put together and she was always available to help over-the-phone when you'd call here with a big S.O.S. Could she be tough? Yep. Did she say what she had on her mind? Without question. Did she sometimes get a bit too edgy? No doubt. Becca took no prisoners, if you wanted to whine or complain Becca was definitely NOT your sounding board. I for one was sad to see her go but happy I retained her number just in case I boxed myself in. She and Sylvia have always been available day or night to help solve a problem with no complaints and also, no candy coating. And finally I find it tacky to discuss a previous member in such negative banter when that person is unable to speak for herself (not that Becca needs my help...~smile~). There was a whole lot more to that young lady then a few cherry picked posts.
| Reply by Susan Fischer on 12/3/12 12:57pm
Msg #445390
You can't re-write history. See very clear msg 300731 as
suggested.
| Reply by Stephanie Santiago on 12/3/12 11:48am
Msg #445384
Cheryl, I've been here for many years - I do not think
Becca was exiled; I don't for a minute even believe that she was "exiled".
She was a respectful Notary Public always eager to help out if she could.
| Reply by Linda_H/FL on 12/3/12 12:06pm
Msg #445387
Stephanie, I sent you a p/m. n/m
| Reply by JanetK_CA on 12/3/12 4:38pm
Msg #445406
History - and lessons to be learned??
I believe it - and the provided link proves it. I've been here a long while, too, and I do remember Becca being eager to help out. Her contributions to many people on this board were considerable, imo. But I also remember - and on a fairly frequent basis - noticing that she seemed to have moments when she went off the deep end against someone with personal attacks and invective that I felt were way out of line on a public forum. It was almost like she was a different person. The quantity of that type of posting seemed to take over this forum sometimes.
I haven't taken the time to go back and check (and won't) but I'm guessing that most, if not all, of those threads are still here in the archives. I think most current readers will agree that Harry takes a very fair and measured approach to running this forum and that evicting someone from here isn't something that he would do lightly. And if I remember correctly, it was because of those types of threads that the JP and Leisure forums were created. This is a much, much friendlier place than it was back then. (Of course, the market is very different for some of us than it used to be and I suspect that may be a big factor, too.)
I think it's fair to say that some of the so called "meanness" that people are complaining about pales in comparison to what used to happen on this board, thankfully!  And in fairness to Becca, there were all too many others who were willing to tangle with her, on a level that many of us felt was inappropriate for this board. However, whatever issues we're having here aren't about Becca or anyone else, for that matter, so I'm not trying to re-argue that old debate or do any Becca-bashing, just trying to keep the record accurate.
So, on a positive note, maybe we can focus on what lessons we can all take from this. Just a few things come to mind...
* It's very hard to "read" someone's tone from a quickly dashed off forum post - or email message or text, so it's extremely easy to be misunderstood. That's especially true with people whom we don't know personally.
* Communication tends to be more effective when it's focused on the facts and issues at hand. If someone responds with a negative comment about a post (however sincerely felt - or even correct - that post might be...), it will most likely detract from their credibility and their point will be lost.
* Sometimes people have strongly held beliefs about many things, including notarial procedures and how to conduct one's business. And it's only natural for them to want to express those beliefs, but if someone disagrees, it doesn't mean it's a personal attack. Most of us are very aware of how many non-posters read this forum and may be influenced by something posted here. That creates the desire to counter something we think is wrong and present another point of view to offset or balance it.
* I find it helpful to try to separate the statement from the poster. We are all wrong from time to time and we all have different temperaments, styles, etc.
* It takes some time to learn enough about each other to decide whose opinions we value and whose not so much. For example, I try to read everything posted by Renee, one of the most knowledgeable and experienced people on this board. And I believe Brenda is a very objective and savvy observer who provides an honest, fair perspective. Both offer a great example of setting the right tone in a post, imo. Of course, there are many others. I won't name those whose opinions I tend to ignore or discount, but there are quite a few of those, as well.  Most fall in between.
* We can disagree without being disagreeable.
* Sometimes the smartest thing we can do is breathe deeply, re-read what we're about to post and think about it a moment (or even a day or two) before we hit "Post". I can't tell you how many times I've scratched out a message - sometimes lengthy ones (big surprise... ) - and ended up deleting it. This has sometimes been as a result of something I read and sometimes something I experienced. I can remember many times being very grateful that I never posted what I wrote, but can't think of ANY times that I wish I had, in hindsight. There have also been many times that I realized that I had mis-read a post and my tangent was completely in error.
* 'Tis the season for giving, no? Another way we can consider being charitable is to cut each other some slack when one of us goofs up or says something dumb. (Who amongst us has never done that?) And why not keep that spirit all year long?
* Some of the most valuable lessons I've learned in this business were delivered with a good measure of crustiness, not honey and sugar. I'm glad I didn't get hung up on the delivery, but managed to find the message - although I'm sure that wasn't always the case; I still have new things to learn every day.
So, any other suggestions? I'm sure I've missed plenty. Like anything else, we'll never be perfect here, but we can always get better!!
Here's hoping you all have a great month and a super holiday season - whatever you celebrate!
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