Posted by meganPA on 2/3/12 5:01pm
Msg #410784

Please be safe everyone

Today I experienced something that I hope no one else has to in their lifetime. I went to a borrower's home to do his closing and was running 45 minutes late due to my previous closing, a purchase that ran 2.5 hrs. I called the borrower a few times to tell him I was running late...he never answered. I got to his house, he didn't answer the door. Several calls made, he didn't answer his phone. Long story short....a neighbor came running and told me to call 9-1-1. We found the man dead from a gunshot wound on his back patio. I do not know what happened to this poor man or why. But I am thanking God that I was late for this appointment today.

Please be safe, everyone. We go into people's homes and neighborhoods totally innocent of what can be truly happening in their lives or surroundings. This makes me never want to do another closing again. I am still shaking and in shock.

Reply by JAM/CA on 2/3/12 5:20pm
Msg #410786

Oh my God Megan, what a horrifying experience. I had a dangerous signing, but nothing like this. I would say 99% of signings are okay, but you never know. That is awful. Hope you are okay. We can run into this anywhere in this day and age. Somebody was watching out for you.

Reply by Claudine Osborne on 2/3/12 5:22pm
Msg #410787

OMG Megan...How terrible..There was a reason why you were dealyed today..Count your lucky stars!

It is natural for you to be shocked and shaken..Take some time to regroup..Luckily most closings are never this drastic..Please take care..God Bless you and this borrower!

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/3/12 5:32pm
Msg #410789

That poor man...so sad

See, I'd be looking at it differently - not so much "Thank God I'm safe" but "if only I'd gotten there sooner maybe I could have done something to prevent this".... it wouldn't occur to me that he'd aim the gun at me - if he wanted to take out someone else, that neighbor would be the one with the bullet in them - IMO it was all internal and he couldn't fight his demons any longer.

But that just me

Reply by ML/PA on 2/3/12 5:54pm
Msg #410790

To Linda H/FL

What is wrong with you, making a stupid comment like that! When we go into someones home we have no idea if they have guns, are mentally unstable , etc. To turn this around and make it sound like if she go there sooner she could have prevented this from happening is ridiculous. She could have been shot too. Megan is my daughter and she is still in shock. I'm just glad she didn't get there sooner.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/3/12 6:12pm
Msg #410793

I didn't say anything against her..I said that's how *I*

would feel..because that's me...and IMO that was not a stupid comment - I truly would have felt that way...MYSELF!!!

Settle down..

Reply by ML/PA on 2/3/12 8:45pm
Msg #410817

Re: I didn't say anything against her..I said that's how *I*

I don't think the purpose of her post was to ask your opinion of what you would do or feel in that situation. You were not there and probably never in that situation so your comment means nothing. This is exactly why I rarely post anything on this site. And we all know who the few of you are that just wait for posts to jump in with your useless opinions.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/3/12 9:23pm
Msg #410820

Oh my God...I'm not allowed to say how that

would have affected me?? What the he** is wrong with you..everyone is different and reacts to things differently.,..I'm really sorry that my reaction to something like that (if put in that situation) doesn't meet with your approval.

You're obviously upset and looking for an argument where there is none. Perhaps you should hit the "off" button on your computer til you calm down.

Reply by HisHughness on 2/3/12 10:40pm
Msg #410824

FWIW

A man lost his life -- I'm assuming by suicide -- and your daughter's overweening reaction was "Migawd, he could have pointed the gun at ME." Not regret that someone took his own life. Not to wonder whether she could have helped prevent it. I'm with Linda. I hope my reaction would have been greatly different from your daughter's, and that somewhere in the mix compassion would have been found.

The Mother Hen act doesn't play very well with me in these circumstances. You might better serve your daughter if, instead of taking such umbrage at negative reactions from others, you counseled with her about how she responded to the situation, and the value of compassion vs self-absorption.

As to you rarely posting on this site, based on the tenor of this thread, I would have to say that we haven't missed much. I'd like to hear more of you when you're not going off on other posters.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 2/3/12 7:09pm
Msg #410801

Re: To Linda H/FL

ML - Linda had the same thought I would have had - maybe I could have prevented it if I had been there sooner.

How often do we wonder that when something happens to someone -- if only I had been there etc.

Doesn't mean that we think if Megan could have got there sooner she could have prevented it, as you say she could have been in danger herself.

But for some of us it is a natural instinct to think "what if had been there, maybe I could have prevented it"

Reply by ct on 2/4/12 12:38am
Msg #410833

Re: To Linda H/FL

So glad Megan is safe... Thank God she was watched over and prayers also to the family that lost a loved one...be kind people..daddy had a big scare...

Reply by HisHughness on 2/3/12 7:02pm
Msg #410799

Sometimes just the slightest human contact...

...can make a difference to someone who is ready to give it all up. A sense of isolation can be a powerful, powerful motivator for many things. You have to ask yourself: Could anything have made a difference to him? This was, after all, someone who was still engaged in life; he was in the process of refinancing his home, for crissakes. People who have lost all hope of never feeling hope again don't do that.

Reply by CinOH on 2/3/12 7:18pm
Msg #410805

Re: That poor man...so sad

Huh? What in the world could you have done to prevent this??? Especially since she stated she doesn't even know what happened to this poor man. How do you know he had "demons?"

Thank God you were late! I pray I never have to face something like this. I've been to some scary signings (two involving guns) but nothing like this. God bless you and I hope you take the time you need to recover from this.

Reply by MW/VA on 2/3/12 7:59pm
Msg #410812

That's a pretty traumatic experience. I hope you will find a way to work through it.
You would have had no clue that you'd come upon a crime scene. Thoughts & prayers are with you.

Reply by LKT/CA on 2/3/12 8:14pm
Msg #410813

From reading the post, I didn't get the impression that the man took his own life, but that someone else killed him. Whatever happened to him is surely a tragedy. Thank the good Lord you were delayed.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 2/3/12 8:28pm
Msg #410816

You know, you're right Lisa..

I'm not sure why I thought suicide...but that's right where my mind went..

Reply by PegiT_MN on 2/3/12 8:28pm
Msg #410815

OMG.....Megan.....this is terrible.....

......your angels were definitely with you today. There is a reason why you were 45 minutes late to that closing today.

I have no idea why everyone is jumping to the suicide conclusion and that they could have rode in on their white horse and saved this poor man. He could have been murdered! How are you going to save him and yourself from some gun waving crazy person who is there to murder someone? We don't know what happend to this man.....and thank God the good Lord was looking out for you today Megan. "Call 9-1-1.....we found the man dead from a gunshot wound on his back patio" does not say suicide.

Megan I will be praying for you and your family tonight that you will be able to put this behind you and feel safe as you continue to do your closings.

Reply by Susan Fischer on 2/3/12 10:42pm
Msg #410825

And yet another, very important reason why contact

with borrowers/signers is so essential, no matter where you are.

Death is a shock. Many blessings of healing and understandings, Megan, and your borrower's family, and, always remember that this is not your fault.

Reply by Karla/OR on 2/4/12 3:30am
Msg #410838

Re: And yet another, very important reason why contact

Megan, I'm so sorry about this experience today. What a blessing for you, your family, and your notary family that we did not have to read a post that you were hurt in this scenario as well. I'm so glad you have such a loving Mom - lean on her for comfort during this unsettling time. I will pray for calmness and healing from the shock of this. We are all here for you and do care. Karla

Reply by ikando on 2/4/12 10:11am
Msg #410858

Re: And yet another, very important reason why contact

Susan, you've voiced my sentiments exactly with regard to any endeavor.

Megan, my prayers are with you, your family and those close to the man who died.

Reply by Molly/Ca on 2/4/12 8:26am
Msg #410848


I have been is some scarry homes and had some borrowers from hell! but something like what you went through really is scarry!! Thank God you are safe!

Reply by 101livescan on 2/4/12 9:30am
Msg #410852

Megan, I know exactly how you are feeling. A couple of years ago, a distraut man who couldn't find work and was severely depressed jumped to his death at the SB Courthouse, I watched him as I begged him not to jump. I shook for days. My mind could not stop thinking about him. The grass in front of the courthouse that was laid there in place of where his body lay bleeding out was replaced but has not taken to the surrounding grass, it is like a patch in the lawn.

I will never forget that day. The man may have been the victim of a robbery, or simply shot by an enemy?

The world is crazy, it's going to get crazier. I'm sorry, there are still a lot of people out there starving, can't feed their children, losing their homes. It has hit home for me over and over this past few years. Things can go terribly wrong in people's lives.

I went to my pastor to get counseling for my event. You might want to consider doing this too to get you past the experience.

Reply by meganPA on 2/4/12 11:02am
Msg #410863

...for your kind words and thoughts. I am forever changed by what I experienced yesterday. I cannot even begin to tell you what has been running through my mind. So to the select few who posted their ignorant comments and assumed my reaction or expressed what they “thought” I should have done or how I should have felt, their opinion means NOTHING to me. They do not know me at all, and they do not have the slightest clue about what happened yesterday. When the police officer looked me dead in the eye and said, “Be very thankful you were late,” I believe him.

Of course, I feel terrible for this poor, poor man and his family. We go into people’s homes totally innocent and never thinking we will encounter something like this. I’m sure many of us here have been in situations during this job where we felt uncomfortable or possibly in danger at someone else’s home. The point of my post was to share a horrifying experience I think everyone here needed to hear.

Reply by meganPA on 2/4/12 11:04am
Msg #410864

Thank you (mostly) everyone...

...for your kind words and thoughts. I am forever changed by what I experienced yesterday. I cannot even begin to tell you what has been running through my mind. So to the select few who posted their ignorant comments and assumed my reaction or expressed what they “thought” I should have done or how I should have felt, their opinion means NOTHING to me. They do not know me at all, and they do not have the slightest clue about what happened yesterday. When the police officer looked me dead in the eye and said, “Be very thankful you were late,” I believe him.

Of course, I feel terrible for this poor, poor man and his family. We go into people’s homes totally innocent and never thinking we will encounter something like this. I’m sure many of us here have been in situations during this job where we felt uncomfortable or possibly in danger at someone else’s home. The point of my post was to share a horrifying experience I think everyone here needed to hear.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 2/6/12 4:34am
Msg #410992

Re: Thank you (mostly) everyone...

Megan, thank you for having enough courage and concern for others to share your experience with us. I hope it was at least a little bit cathartic for you, as well.

I think Cheryl offered a wonderful suggestion to talk to a someone about it who has had some training in helping people deal with trauma, whether that be a pastor or professional counselor. If you don't have a clergy person you can go to, many communities have services offered by non-profit organizations where you might find a qualified person to see for little or no cost. Even if it only takes one visit, it could be well worth it.

Reply by Sylvia_FL on 2/4/12 11:23am
Msg #410866

Megan,
I don't think anyone posted what they thought you should have done, rather what their thought would have been.
It was an awful experience for you, and it will take a while to get over it.

Sometimes our first thoughts aren't the best. For instance if I saw someone struggling in the water my first thought would be to dive in there and try to save them. It would be stupid as I don't swim at all. And in your situation my thought would have been if I had got here sooner maybe I could have saved him - that would not really be rational. I don't think anyone really meant to sound like you were wrong in thanking God for being late for the appointment. Someone up there was really watching out for you.

Reply by BrendaTx on 2/4/12 6:55pm
Msg #410901

Glad you are safe and were not there. That's right, I am very glad you were not there when this suicide (or homicide) took place.

As one whose opinion on this comes not from conjecture, but from experience, if you encounter someone who is suicidal and who has chosen a gun for the method, either get out of range or be sure that you are okay with dying with him or her. Think about your own children and your own mother before you decide to put yourself in the range of a gun held by someone who is emotionally distraught.

Secondly, who cares what anyone else thinks? If they are standing by your grave the next week, the conversation is likely going to be, "Why would he do that to her? Why not just kill himself?" (Uh, that was his plan...she got in the way.) or "Why didn't she just get out of there? She's got kids...why didn't she take care of herself?"

It is an unstoppable human hope that in such terrible circumstances that one will be able to figure out a better way to handle something so that one is in better control.

I'm alive to torture notaries, my kids and my mother on this day because I decided to follow my instincts that even the kindest man in the world was not in his right mind when he picked up a gun.

This isn't about me or my drama twelve years ago. It's about not trying to be a hero in real life when someone is holding a loaded gun. Leave it for Hollywood. That's the only place it is safe to be a hero in this type of situation.

Reply by Ali/IL on 2/6/12 10:36pm
Msg #411066

Oh my, I am also glad that you were not there at that time.Wow.

Reply by Lexie on 2/9/12 6:08pm
Msg #411302

I am also very thankful you were not there. I hope by now you have spoken to someone you can trust, but regardless, I am sure your family will be good support for you. The police officer who was there may be a source for some type of counseling, if you haven't found what you need by now. You will find some day that you are destined for something special. My Mom, God rest her, used to say that God writes straight with crooked lines. It is so true.