Posted by pat/WA on 10/30/12 7:06pm
Msg #441351

verbal abuse

How much verbal abuse should you take from a borrower. I just called a woman who immediately started abusing me

Reply by roseIN on 10/30/12 7:07pm
Msg #441353

none. period.

Reply by notary4az2 on 10/30/12 7:09pm
Msg #441354

Re: verbal abus

You do not have to take any verbal abuse. I had that happen to me last month and I turned the order back in and told title what happened. Then the borrower started texting me and verballly being abusive to the point I had to block her. Like it was my fault that the title company and lender messed up her paperwork and she had to resign. We get all kinds in dealing with the public!

Reply by HisHughness on 10/30/12 7:17pm
Msg #441356

They get one shot, after which I tell them I was not hired to take their imprecations, and if they continue, I will treat just like I treat any other drunk and disorderly jerk I run across.

If I want abuse, I can call just any ex-wife.

For that matter, I generally can call any current girlfriend.

Reply by 101livescan on 10/30/12 7:21pm
Msg #441357

Zero tolerance for abuse. Pack up and leave immediately.

Reply by Randy Langel on 10/30/12 7:28pm
Msg #441358

Answer: Zero. Your reply should include: 1. I'm sorry, I'm just the Notary. 2. Do you have a contact number for your Loan Officer? 3. Do you have a contact number for the Title Officer? The Signing Company that hired you may also offer some support. After that you gracefully excuse yourself and head for the door.

Reply by CentralNY on 10/30/12 7:30pm
Msg #441360

Pat/WA, why do you even have to ask?? n/m

Reply by GOLDGIRL/CA on 10/30/12 7:42pm
Msg #441368

Re: Pat/WA, why do you even have to ask??

Well - there are different levels of "abuse," ranging from just plain rude to outright theatening behavior. Most borrowers falling in this range are on the low end - they're just mad about getting jacked around by the LO/lender and have no manners or any idea how to appropriately deal with their frustration. They just take it out on the first person who calls (us). So, after the first shot across the bow by these idiots, calmly direct them toward the appropriate target of their anger.

If they keep it up or actually get worse, then you're obviously dealing with one of Hugh's exes, and you gotta run for your life.

Reply by Linda_H/FL on 10/30/12 7:57pm
Msg #441378

Re: Pat/WA, why do you even have to ask??

"then you're obviously dealing with one of Hugh's exes, and you gotta run for your life."

Run after you give them Hugh's number...

Reply by Buddy Young on 10/30/12 8:37pm
Msg #441388

Re: LOL GOLDGIRL n/m

Reply by Clem/CA on 10/30/12 7:55pm
Msg #441375

I don't think of myself as "just a notary" but I get what you , hopefully, are saying.

Reply by Laurie Rangel on 10/31/12 12:18pm
Msg #441454

I agree, ZERO tolerance as soon as they start with anything I call the signing service that hired me if they continue I pack everything up say the signing is over walk out and call the service again.

I have walked out in the middle stating called the company told them what happened. I also demanded and received full pay.

Do not tolerate any type of abuse.

Reply by DD/OR on 10/30/12 7:30pm
Msg #441362

I let them have one shot at me. If they don't co-operate and If they continue to abuse me, I walk. I just walked out on one last week for not co-operating and for being argumentative. Then I walked out on another one a month ago. Several years ago I was verbally abused so bad I was scared he was going to attack me. That was my first abuse. Since then I don't tolerate abuse. Or if a borrower is argumentative, I will leave.

Reply by pat/WA on 10/30/12 7:40pm
Msg #441367

The moment she answered the phone she became verbally abusive. No matter what I said it wasn't what she wanted to hear. She just kept yelling at me until I hung up and called the signing service and cancelled. Then she called back and started yelling again. I told her another notary would be calling her. (I feel sorry for the notary that gets her)
This is a first for me.

Reply by 101livescan on 10/30/12 7:55pm
Msg #441374

You did good, Pat. When I began this biz 10 years ago, I had a lady (no lady really) use the F word every other word, and finally, I said I must leave. I can't help you...it's simply too abrasive and uncomfortable for me to be your notary.

Her husband was a wimp, I would have asked her to clean up her mouth. It was a loan with very high interest because she was a spend thrift.

I would have been swearing at all the extra costs too, but of course, they created their own monster.

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 10/30/12 7:57pm
Msg #441377

Sounds to me like it had nothing to do with you and you just ended up being a target or conduit for frustration.

These types of things can be really stressful, especially when mistakes have been made previously. I feel it out out... I let them direct one nasty at me and then try to figure out if it's because of ME or because of the situation.

I think some people think "verbal abuse" is more than it really is sometimes. Often, It might be somebody who is really frustrated who feels they haven't been heard yet. When you show up, they don't care that you're independent. You're showing up with their personal information and loan paperwork... as far as they're concerned, you're somehow connected to the lender...true or not...that's their perception. And when you call them or walk in their home... well, then, it's a good time for them to unload because they finally have the lender's undivided attention on their turf. Again... that's *their* perception.

I won't put up with a continue stream of nasty, but I will listen and try to direct their anger toward the right people. I will also pass on (quite happily) and messages or feedback the borrowers might wish to send.

Reply by Barb25 on 10/30/12 8:53pm
Msg #441390

And this is one more job of the NSA? Really?

Obviously if all of their frustrations have made them so volatile they are "abusive," there are people who have not done their job or they are just unstable. Selling the loan that the LO didn't finish doing, fixing the documents the lender/title didn't get write, photocopying the ID that the borrowers didn't get around to doing, and now being a punching bag or therapist for a overwrought borrower. What next? Make the monthly payment?

Reply by Claudine Osborne on 10/30/12 9:35pm
Msg #441401

Re: And this is one more job of the NSA? Really?

I had one last fri that was scheduled for 530..No docs so I put them in the back of the line..By the time I did get to them it was 9:45pm..It was a father/son deal and their wives..None of them were very happy that I was so late..(not my fault)..They were a tough crowd..Anyways the dad threw the documents at me after he signed them..I almost walked out..But felt bad for the son as he was trying to keep everyone together..Eventually they settled down but..wow..

Reply by Barb25 on 10/30/12 9:44pm
Msg #441407

Here is something to think about.

What gets me is that there are SS who feel it is the NSA responsibility to get the signing DONE! There are those that would NEVER expect you to take any abuse. My point is that you were put in this position because of someone else's inability to get their job done on time. Now what would have happened if you walked out? Would the SS/TC had your back?

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 10/30/12 10:06pm
Msg #441411

Re: Here is something to think about.

I think there's a lesson, though... and has it's root in managing the situation just as you would the entire signing. You don't let them manage their tantrum. You tell them you can see that they're upset... make it about THEM, not YOU. If you make it about you, it's going to fall apart. They don't care about your feelings. You're in their home. This is their loan. This is their money.

The minute you start getting all up in yourself with the, "I won't put up with this abuse," stuff... you make yourself a victim completely needlessly and make the situation worse because you make it about you. Guess what... its not about you.

You have to tell them that you absolutely recognize that they are angry and why. You don't have to agree with it... just reiterate to them what they're expressing. This usually helps calms them down and lets them know you're listening to them. Once they're listening, you can explain, politely, that while you understand it's a frustrating situation, the telling is not going to get things done, which is what you're there to accomplish. Again, focus on the goal... not you. If that doesn't help, you can ask some questions (open-ended ones are best) that might help resolve the situation, or get closer to a resolution.

Of course, the entire time... you should never yell back. Stay professional and remain helpful. The minute you get huffy and puffy, it can get ugly. Now... I'm not saying put yourself in danger.... if you sense real danger, get out of there quick. But really, most of the time, it's just about managing a cranky pants in order to get the job done. It's part of the job, I think. Sometimes, people are just having a bad day, or are operating on little sleep or are worrying about a family member or something completely unrelated to you. You just can't take it personally... unless, of course you KNOW you screwed it up, and then really... you know the anger is directed to you for a reason.... but you can still manage it, just in a different way.

If you can't handle difficult personalities, you should not be doing this job.

Reply by bfnotary on 10/31/12 2:50pm
Msg #441488

Re: And this is one more job of the NSA? Really?

I will put up with a lot, but the minute someone throws anything at me(even if it is just docs), I will give the warning that I am not here to handle abuse, I am here to get the loan docs signed. If you wish to cooperate, I will continue. If you do not, then I will pack up and leave.

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 10/30/12 9:43pm
Msg #441406

Re: And this is one more job of the NSA? Really?

Well, it's certainly one of the reasons I don't accept low fees, either... it's no fun dealing with a crotchety old desert rat with a colorful tongue after he's been jacked around by his lender for 4 months and I'm the first human being associated with them that he's seen in the flesh during the whole process. Fun? No... but I'm used it. I don't like bad language and I don't ever use it myself, but I don't sit there and make the problem worse by being rude to them, either. A lot of the time, they just want to get it all of their chest. I never let them direct it at me, heaven's no. But if they want to rail on the process, then I let them go. It's not personal.

Reply by Barb25 on 10/30/12 9:57pm
Msg #441409

Re: And this is one more job of the NSA? Really?

I hear you Marian. And certainly I have no axe to grind here except for the reasons I mentioned. Read Claudine's comment. A borrower is throwing papers at her. I had a borrower give me a hard time for 40 minutes, everything from I was not helpful, to useless, to they should have sent someone who could explain all these numbers. All because she couldn't reach a LO who obviously never finished "selling" the loan. And told her just sign and we have 3 days to straighten it out. And then was never found again all evening. Really? She was frustrated. I get that. And a signing company saying this has to close tonight. Crazy stuff like that. It's not about money. I agree most times you can divert the anger and calm down the borrower. Sometimes not. But NSAs are being "put upon" far too much and going under the bus way too often. Again, as I said to Claudine, my thing is does the SS/TC say pack up and go, you don't get abused. Or doesn't matter about you, this has to happen. Because there are other careers that pay alot better where one can get abused. It should be personal, IMO

Reply by Marian_in_CA on 10/30/12 10:12pm
Msg #441412

Re: And this is one more job of the NSA? Really?

Oh definitely... and that's WHY I don't put up with crappy rates. I always tell people, "I'm expensive and I don't apologize for it." I really do not mind if companies want to go with somebody less expensive. Be my guest! It's because of those crazy situations we often find ourselves that I just draw the line with it now.

I had a guy from a SS tell me once, "Lady, I like our style. I can't afford you but I sure wish I could."

My the crotchety old desert rats are rubbing off on me.... ugh.

Reply by Michele Ryan on 10/30/12 9:54pm
Msg #441408

Abuses vary & I do charge combat pay. When I started, I needed the pay day & I needed to learn how to handle situations like this. Over time, I have. I can usually calm someone down, or focus on the LO, or go to the SS for support of some sort. I have learned to handle the situation according to my day at that point. Then, if the individual is hell bent on threatening me, I pack up my stuff & walk out. Nothing said. I did have one where I called the Sheriff's department & told them I needed them on speed dial, because the Borrower was abusive on the phone. Then I programmed that phone # & the Sheriff's department address into my phone. Thankfully, it wasn't required for that signing. Always plan according to your best interests. Know the Police or other Law Enforcement phone # & physical street address for the area you are signing in if you know ahead of time you'll need them, more then they need to be there.

Reply by Michele Ryan on 10/30/12 9:58pm
Msg #441410

I had a SS who "babies" a Escrow Officer, well, I'm a firm believer in my Karma Running Over someone else's dogma. Talk about being set up to FAIL!!! I also believe in COMBAT PAY & NO SERVICES FOR ABUSES. When those of us who are the boots on the ground, get doc's late, or an LO that doesn't do their job properly . . . . . & the borrower is an a$$$ . . . . . I know what I am worth & I know what I will get paid.