Posted by GOLDGIRL/CA on 3/7/13 4:49pm
Msg #459890

Ewwwww

I have a signing tomorrow with the manager of a major cemetery at his office.

At my age, that's a little too close for comfort.

Reply by 101livescan on 3/7/13 4:51pm
Msg #459892

Don't let any one put a sheet over ya, girlfriend.

Reply by jba/fl on 3/7/13 5:15pm
Msg #459903

I've done a few morticians recently

Trend? Just a refi, that's all.

Of course, having been a huge fan of 6 Feet Under, I had to ask if that portrayed their profession accurately. That was met with laughter.

Reply by Les_CO on 3/7/13 5:24pm
Msg #459907

Re: I've done a few morticians recently

Correct me if I’m wrong….but what you meant to say is you have conducted signings for several morticians lately? If not, is it true that they almost never lose a stiff?

Reply by jba/fl on 3/7/13 6:09pm
Msg #459924

Shameless Birthday Boy! Happy, happy to you. n/m

Reply by Les_CO on 3/7/13 6:31pm
Msg #459934

Re: Shameless Birthday Boy! Happy, happy to you.

THANK YOU!!!!! And what a great answer! Excluding the unnamed scrivener in Austin, I’m probably the oldest (but not the wisest) NSA here. So THANK YOU for your good wishes, and I shall endeavor to carry on….At least one more year of occasional, but expertly done (horn blows!) signings.

Reply by Notarysigner on 3/7/13 6:55pm
Msg #459947

Man, you didn't tell me you were up for the NR

Senior Citizen's award again? Happy birthday, I'm sure you have every gift imaginable except a "pen-again"!

Reply by Les_CO on 3/8/13 10:58am
Msg #460061

Re: Man, you didn't tell me you were up for the NR

Thanks James! I have enough pen-again’s for this life, and the next.

Reply by 101livescan on 3/7/13 8:00pm
Msg #459951

Re: I've done a few morticians recently

I must confess, I've never done a mortician, neither have I conducted a signing for one, just to set the record straight, but I have visited a cemetary a time or two.

If anyone offers you a marble slab.....Run, girl, run...

Reply by Shan/CA on 3/8/13 9:32am
Msg #460019

Re: I've done a few morticians recently

Don't accept anything to drink! (embalming fluid) We are awful, aren't we? LOL

Reply by Stoli on 3/7/13 5:37pm
Msg #459911

Keep your shoes on or you’ll be getting a toe tag! n/m

Reply by Notarysigner on 3/7/13 5:47pm
Msg #459916

Don't go in there playing music 'cause

music never dies....!

Reply by jba/fl on 3/7/13 6:10pm
Msg #459925

You all are so.....something halfway funny anyway. n/m

Reply by ArtG/KS on 3/7/13 6:11pm
Msg #459926

No I'm not kidding. . . .

About six years ago I closed one for a mid-wife and she said her fiance was a mortician. She joked that they thought of starting a business after they get married and call the Alpha and Omega services. Sheeeeees.

Reply by janCA on 3/7/13 6:25pm
Msg #459932

I do GNW work on regular basis with a funeral home in town

They call me about every month or two to notarize the signature of the embalmer. There are two at this funeral home.

The document states something to the effect that he, the embalmer, certifies that he did, indeed, embalm the body of ?????. This document is usually for the family that is bringing their loved one back to Mexico to be buried.

Another document is authorization to release insurance funds to the funeral home.

Reply by Stoli on 3/7/13 6:16pm
Msg #459927

GG—get them to do your hair and makeup while you’re there. n/m

Reply by GOLDGIRL/CA on 3/7/13 6:26pm
Msg #459933

You're sick, Stoli n/m

Reply by jba/fl on 3/7/13 6:36pm
Msg #459937

What? You can't hold still long enough? LOL n/m

Reply by Notarysigner on 3/7/13 6:40pm
Msg #459941

GG when you're on your way home don't

stop for a "cold one."

Reply by CarolF/NC on 3/7/13 8:06pm
Msg #459952

Yes she is sick. Lol n/m

Reply by Yoli/CA on 3/7/13 6:43pm
Msg #459945

Do they also do manicures & pedicures? Get the works, GG!

Except maybe not a massage. Don't want them to get to up close and personal.

Reply by Stoli on 3/7/13 7:13pm
Msg #459948

Do they do waxing, too? Yoli, you're outrageous! n/m

Reply by Stoli on 3/7/13 7:19pm
Msg #459949

Check for mirrors---a vampire won’t have a reflection. n/m

Reply by GOLDGIRL/CA on 3/7/13 8:52pm
Msg #459961

All right, everybody back to work!

And thank you all for your unfailingly tasteless comments. As long as my hiring agency doesn't stiff me on my notary fee, I'll be happy.

Reply by ArtG/KS on 3/7/13 9:43pm
Msg #459967

Re: All right, everybody back to work!

Stiff you on your fee. It never stops. The oldest joke in the funeral business is when someone asks a funeral director "how's business?" Then he answers, "kinda dead".

Before we all go brain dead, lets move onto something a bit more lively.

Reply by JanetK_CA on 3/7/13 11:12pm
Msg #459977

Yes, but comic relief here was a "breath" of fresh air! ;>) n/m

Reply by 101livescan on 3/7/13 11:54pm
Msg #459982

Re: Yes, but comic relief here was a "breath" of fresh air! ;>)

After all the insanity of this week, this was a lot of fun, and we owe all to GG.

Now GG, if you do get "stiffed" as you say, it won't be the death of you, darling. And that's all I have to say about this.

THE END. (remember when THE END was always at the end of every reel movie?)

I'm hitting the sack before I get sacked. Raining like a banchi up here.

Reply by dgd/CA on 3/7/13 8:57pm
Msg #459964

GG... Too Funny...

In a long ago time, some of my earliest memories were of the family (including me, the little toddler) cleansing and preparation of our loved ones for viewing and passage.

Decades ago, my younger brother, developed a friendship with a 10 year old boy that most seemed to fear because his father was the "first" mortician in the upper desert.

Quite frankly, I thought it was the absolute most wonderful thing in the world.

Everyone has a profession... at the end of the day, we're all just "people."

Hope all goes well for you

Reply by ArtG/KS on 3/7/13 9:49pm
Msg #459969

Re: GG... Too Funny...

It seems like I remember that somewhere on the eastern seaboard there is a funeral home called Slabinski funeral home. Slab-inski?

Reply by Luckydog on 3/8/13 5:42am
Msg #459992

Do not see a problem. You meet in an office. You never been to a funeral?

Reply by Stoli on 3/8/13 9:43am
Msg #460022

Okay, back to work—I’ll go dig up some business. n/m

Reply by Mia on 3/8/13 10:01am
Msg #460036

Disregard the sign that says... "Think Dead" n/m

Reply by Stoli on 3/8/13 12:13pm
Msg #460073

This is a grave situation--don’t go digging up old business. n/m

Reply by Stoli on 3/8/13 12:27pm
Msg #460078

Did you make your ‘bones’ today?

Any moaning during the signing?

Reply by Stoli on 3/8/13 12:36pm
Msg #460081

Greg posted this on Leisure:

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive... So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

Reply by jba/fl on 3/8/13 12:49pm
Msg #460086

And should have checked this out first

http://www.snopes.com/language/phrases/1500.asp

Fun stories though - campfires are a great place to have them too.

Reply by Stoli on 3/8/13 1:03pm
Msg #460093

It's my fault---I told him to post it. n/m