Posted by LindaD/NJ on 1/18/12 5:25pm
Msg #409392
Goat ate the documents!
Closing today. Get to the woman's home. A goat greats me at the door (Zeke the goat is outside) She introduces me, I pet him, he goes off to do his goat thing. She then proceeds to show me the half eaten closing pkg. The UPS guy left them on the deck and Zeke found lunch. I called title, told them to send me the pkg. to print and why. She couldn't believe it. She kept saying "a Dog!?" and I kept saying "No, a GOAT!!" It's all good
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Reply by HisHughness on 1/18/12 6:27pm
Msg #409403
This originally was posted by Angelina from Arizona...
...who no longer posts here. It is, hands down, the most amusing and captivating post EVER in NotRot. It is not a classic, it is THE classic by which every other anecdote will always be measured -- and always come up short. I don't know what it is about the sheep and goat family, but they seem to figure in many of our better stories here. I'm sorry, I did not record the message, and do not have time right now to do a text search to get it. If someone else could provide the message number, I'm sure other posters would like that informtion.
ENJOY!
I live in an area of southern Arizona that is known to have more... for lack of a better word, country folk. I have seen all types and have gotten used to dentures sitting next to my Notary Stamp, the dog that pooped on my briefcase (that one was hard to accept) and other strange and wonderful things that make people so very unique.
I pull up to a huge but extremely run down house with about a hundred cats running around everywhere. Now I am allergic to those wonderful animals so I immediately pop a sudafed and go to meet the borrower. She asks if we can sign outside because it is the only table and as she moves the hundred cans of open, half eaten cat food off the table, I notice the 'no shirt wearing hairy neighbor' leering over the fence. She starts screaming at him to go away, and yells, "Brother come and help me, Artie is hanging around again." The husband comes out and gets into it with the neighbor who goes away. I ask for ID's and start to get down to business. They are signing away, while I am trying to keep the cats off the table and away from my new briefcase which I am wishing I had left in my car and I notice that the neighbor is back. The wife starts yelling again...profanity and lots of other stuff and ends it with 'Get out of here you sheep theif!" Well that was a new one. I could not resist so I said so innocently, "He stole your sheep?" She looked at me with cold disdain and said, "Yes, he took Molly and had her over in his trailer for three hours before I noticed her gone." The husband nodded and said, "Yep, we had to put her down after he had his way," then yelling, you want to go back to jail sheepf*&%$#" Now that was sick but I didn't really have time to be grossed out yet because the wife started crying and the husband started comforting her and then they started a super make out session. I was ready to BLOW THE TACO STAND but I forced myself to take one quick look at the docs because I sure did not want to COME BACK. I notice in horror that there is a problem with the vesting. I cannot believe that I did not catch it. It says "John Doe, an unmarried man, and Jane Doe, and unmarried woman. They have wedding rings, they are obviously 'together', they have the same last name... Oh crud! I bring it to their attention and say, "could you please double check the vesting here, I think we will need to have this corrected." They look at it and say... 'Nope it's right". I am now befuddled... so I go out on a limb and say, well in my experience, a typical deed of a married couple would say.... yada yada yada. The man gets up and leaves and the wife says, "Oh we're married honey, but we're brother and sister and the &%$#$ State of Arizona won't recognize us as married." The husband comes back mad and says, "first Mom and Dad wouldn't come to the weddin and now the &%$#$ state of Arizona is tellin us that we aint man and wife... what do you think of that?"
What do I think of that? Did he really ask me that question? Was I really still there and not running for the car? Where's my Mace? Maybe I should carry a gun! Oh God I forgot to tell my husband where I would be... Is Artie looking at me? RUN RUN RUN... don't walk, RUN!!!
This is not a joke, and I haven't eaten since I got home.
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