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Posted by Dorothy/MI on 6/16/05 9:55pm
What some people call trashing/bashing...
Posted by BrendaTX on 6/16/05 9:41pm
Msg #45370 from logged in user
Yeah, Dog...What some people call trashing/bashing are straight answers.
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The very best one piece of advice I have ever recieved on my business is:
::Never, ever show emotional reactions
::where your business is concerned.
::Be dignified and be sure of yourself.
Allowing perfect strangers hurt you with words on a notary forum you means you are not made for this job. You are going to be a pawn -- others control you because you let them.
If people who disagree with your opinions or methods cause you anger, ask yourself , "Why let other people's opinions have so much weight?" If you are right, you are right. Ignore them. Agree to disagree.
The world is full of jackasses - especially in our business...not JUST gripey old curmudgeon notaries, but downright pathological narcissistic evil people who will walk all over you to make a dollar. Know your stuff and be confident or you will be used up like toilet paper.
Get a tougher skin or you'll fold under pressure to do illegal notary acts. If you cannot take a truthful answer (or even a rude bashing) on this forum because it angers you...you are the "weakest link."
Whining and fussing about tones of posts by perfect strangers reveal that you cannot be graceful under pressure. This says you are going to get emotional if a bwr does. Indifferent rudeness -- even detached arrogance -- is a heck of a lot better at a table than emotional reaction. The so-called old mean bashers will just calmy state choices for the bwr, regain control of the signing and continue -- just like they continue to tell new notaries to do their homework, get prepared and stop crying.
However, if you *can* get a grip on your emotions *here* so much the better so that you can calmly say, "No can do." Otherwise, you are easily manipulated by both hiring entity and bwr. Practice covering up your buttons here, and you'll be amazed at how much more confidence and control you'll have in the field.
Those who continue to coddle you by saying "so sorry for these mean rude people...it's okay if you are ill-prepared for this job and have the emotions of a 3 yr old." are enablers. They want you to remain immature because they have their own little personal drama going on. They enjoy the role they play and even try to heighten it at times. Don't buy into all this stinking thinking--you are not a helpless victim.
Recommended reading:
Nasty People
Toxic People
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