You have undoubtedly seen this... but it's still funny! (in a twisted / Republican sort of way)
Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. In my favorite
case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident. I
reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for
the Queen of England."
The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and
both legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won
a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on
into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with
was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put
them together and now she's running for President."
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