It often does help to have sufficient experience and expertise (not necessarily the same thing) to be able to expect and get higher fees, but that doesn't mean it's impossible for those who aren't there yet. A great deal of it is just having the confidence to negotiate and to stick to your guns. And yes, it does mean letting lots of work go. But I waste no mental energy thinking about the $75 or $85 refis with scanbacks that "got away". 
If what does come through isn't enough to make the money you want or need, you have several choices:
1. Find a way to live on less income, and/or
2. Get busy marketing to bring in more, better business, and/or
3. Find something else to do that WILL bring in the money you need.
Personally, I'd rather do one signing with a $50 profit margin than do 3 signings with a $20 profit margin each. (Made up numbers for illustration only.) I'd end up with $10 less in my bank account, but with lots more time to do other things. I realize that others will make different choices, but if they do, I just think they should realize what's at stake...
One thing I know for sure is that if I just reduce my fees to get more work, I'll find myself stuck in that "bargain bin", working harder and harder for more and more hours with little to no prospect of that situation ever getting better. I tried that once and just ended up exhausted with no life. So I raised my fees again (which mostly meant finding different clients) and have been much happier ever since. Never again. Life is too short!
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