I'm glad you brought this up because I've felt like you did on a few occasions myself. It seems to me that we sometimes walk a fine line between respecting people's privacy and trying to be a sensitive, caring person towards another human being. While it's true that, time permitting, it never hurts to try to be kind to another person, it may be easier said than done.
From what I've read, one way to draw people out is to ask "follow-up" questions. In your situation, one possible example (now that I've had more time than you did to think about it), would have been to ask how long ago that happened or how old he was. There are probably tons of other possibilities, but upon hearing something a bit shocking or unexpected, I think it's human nature for some of us to have our minds go blank (especially if we have Introvert tendencies).
Knowing the right thing to say in difficult circumstances is certainly not my strong suit, especially in the moment, but hours later, when it no longer matters, all kinds of thoughts come to mind.  There's also a strong possibility that it wouldn't have made any difference. If she really wanted to talk, she might have regardless of what you said. And she also might not have wanted to say more, regardless of what you said.
Some people are much better at this kind of thing than I am. I'm always afraid of intruding into something too personal, but other, more outgoing types, seem to always have something to say. I'm looking forward to hearing other opinions about these types of situations.
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