Sorry, I just saw that on a bumper sticker...
Social situations can be all over the board, as can the answer. If you're networking to gain business, then it will pay to be right, and polite. If you want to remain an integral part of your family and friends, or workmates, then it will pay more to be kind. You don't have to compromise your values to do that. I'll restrain myself to just two lines of thought on each point:
1. Kindness. What is it going to cost you? My wife loved spending time with her grandmother as a little girl, spending many days with her in the garden and around the house. Her grandmother poured into her simple yet important lessons. One of which is, "What is it going to cost you?" Basically, not to make an issue out of something, and try your best to show others respect no matter what. What is it going to cost you? Diminished self-respect? Embarrassment? Loss of self-confidence? At the end of the day, you go to bed with one person. If you have to fight others to feel right or good about yourself, then something more serious is amiss.
My wife is also by far the most gracious person I know so I will use her as an example. She helped raise 3 younger sisters always caring for and protecting them putting them ahead of herself. They love her to death. She literally has no enemies and everyone who gets to know her likes her or loves her. She is sure of herself and uses her wit and humor to disarm even the most arrogant and obnoxious of people. She maintains her self-respect by dealing with others with respect, and kindness. Even her most severe critique of someone will make the person laugh at themselves. They will get the point.
2. Why exactly is 'right'? Take any issue. Regardless of political or religious affiliation, people have long decided for themselves what they believe to be right and wrong. So, what is it going to cost you to leave it alone? There are many angles of approach to discern fully what a person is actually stating. By asking questions you may find that you have more in common than not. If you totally disagree does that require debate? Does it diminish who you are if you can't always be right? To maintain self-respect do you need to always be right?
While not perfect at it, these are my goal posts. Hope that answers your question. |
