They let their dogs sniff me, jump all over me, paw, wreck my pants with their claws and stand in my way, barking , so I can't even get to the signing table. Oh, he won't bite, Oh, he's harmless. As they watch this debacle. This is all before the Mr. even introduces me to his co-signing spouse. Oh, by the way, this is Vickie.
Yesterday, I was greeted at the fence gate by Mr. Owner holding his big white dog by the collar. He asked if I liked dogs. I've heard that before and knew exactly where this was going. No, I replied, politely but firmly. I'm more of a cat person, I say. Then he says, "I've got biscuits." Oh goodie, I drooled. Not only is he going to respect my answer to keep his lousy dog outta my way, he made yummy buttermilk biscuits to go with the coffee he promised me during the confo call since he wanted me at his Rockies ranch at the crack of dawn. But no. The biscuits he handed me were to feed his stupid dog. Are you serious?
On top of that, no sign of any coffee. You try getting through a 197 page VA loan with no coffee and grumpy borrowers: "We have to sign all that?!?" Grr.
Then as if it couldn't get any worse, at my last signing of the same day, I'm all situated at the signing table. Mr. Borrower brings IDs, gets check to send back, etc. and then, opens the house door to the garage. Out charges this dog as big as a horse. He's holding him by the collar and says that he's going to let the dog sniff me and then Bruiser will be happy. What?!? What about my happiness? No, I yelled, fearing for my life, my eyes bugging out, as the dog strained at the collar and if let go would be headed at me at the speed of DEFCON 1. I could tell Mr. Owner was very perturbed that I was not into this dog sniffing me or otherwise. Too bad. Now, can we get on with the signing or was this all about your dog's happiness?
On the bright side I had a signing this week with a couple that had 3 llamas, four dogs, five cats and a partridge in a pear tree. The cats were all over the signing table, all over me, which, of course, I loved. Mrs. Owner was a vet, and these were all ailing rescue cats. At first only four cats were involved with the signing cos the black cat was too shy and never cones out when strangers are in the house, I was told. But black cat eventually sensed she was missing out on all the fun and made an appearance. Even let me pet her. Why can't all dogs be cats? Incidentally, all their dogs were in big cages or outside while I was there. No attempt on their part to make me bond with them. Thank you so much! |
