Sweetly sings the siren: "It is not a plot to defraud notaries of their due."
Yeah it is. They are all out to get us. You're probably helping them.
And then the siren lets us see the truth: "Don't take this sort of stuff so personally folks." (Under her breath: but it is more fun for us if you do. Ha ha ha.)
Spoken like someone who has not been bombarded, bullied and scared __itless when they started out as a little baby signing agent reading the horrible snakey 72 pt fonts screaming:
NOTAR PUBICS:
DO THIS OR YOU WILL NOT BE PAID
1) Use the envelopes that are non-existent in your city OAR YOU WILL NOTE BE PAD!!!!
2) Our instructions must be followed. DO NOT CALL the lender or tc.
3) As soon as you get this, CALL THE LENDER AND TC
4) Send a picture of yourself before you leave for any job. (See 8 page manual on picture requirements.) IMPORTAN!!!! YOU MUST DO THIS FOUR TIMES AFTER 8 AM.
5) You must use your noatry seal on this paper and take it to the vet on your way to fedex/usp.
6) IF THERE IS WHITE OUT ON ANY DOCUMENT YOU WILL NOT BE PAID.
7) IF THE TITLE CMOPANY PUT WHITGE OUT OAN A DOCUMENT it might be necessary. LEAVE IT THERE OR YOU WILL NEVER BE PAID AND YOU WILL BE CALLED Stenchy wherever you go.
FAX BACK YOUR W19, ONE COPY OF the receipt from the very LAST MOVIE YOU rented YOUR BIRTH CERT. YOUR MOTHER'S BIRTHDATE, THE SIZE LABEL FROM YOUR UNDERWEAR, amd a picture of Buddy Holly.
READ: ---->>> Do not forget to write a synopsis of the first season of The Soprano's on a copy of your letterhead and fax to our home office in ______, PA.
YOU MUST OR YOU will not be padd.You cannot use your own invoice. You must use the one we yhave provided you and IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW OUR INSTURCTIONS TO THE LETER YO WILL NOT BE PAID !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF THE BORROWERS PHONE NUMBER OF ADDRESS IS INCORRECT ON ANY ANY ANY ANY document we have provided you, do not (repeated) do not [copied too many times, cannot read]
Thank you again for accepting this assignment.
Fax every thing on this list back to us immediately after signing. If you do not you will not be paid.
AFFIDAVIT FOR HOME EQUITY TRANSACTION-
AFFIDAVIT OF MARITAL STATUS-
AMORTIZATION SCHEDULE-
APPLICATION FOR P.A.I.D. PROGRAM-
AUTHORIZATION TO CANCEL CREDIT LINE-
BALLOON NOTE ADDENDUM-
BALLOON RIDER-
COMPLIANCE AGREEMENT-
CONDOMINIUM RIDER-
CORRECTION AGREEMENT LIMITED POWER OF ATTORNEY-
DESIGNATION OF HOMESTEAD AFFIDAVIT-
DOCUMENT CORRECTION AGREEMENT-
ESCROW ACCOUNTING ADDENDUM-
ESCROW DISCLOSURE FORM-
FIRST PAYMENT COUPON-
ID LETTER –OR-IDENTITY STATEMENT-
INFORMATION PRIVACY ACT-
INITIAL ESCROW DISCLOSURE STATEMENT-
MORTGAGE OR DEED OF TRUST-
NAME AFFIDAVIT-
NON-IDENTITY AFFIDAVIT-
NOTE-
NOTICE OF ASSIGNMENT, SALE OR TRANSFER OF SERVICING RIGHTS-
NOTICE OF PURCHASER-
NOTICE OR RIGHT TO CANCEL OR RIGHT OF RECISSION-
ONE AND THE SAME NAME AFFIDAVIT-
OWNERS AFFIDAVIT-
PAY OFF DEPARTMENT-
PAYOFF AFFIDAVIT-
PLANNED UNIT DEVELOPMENT RIDER-
QUIT CLAIM DEED-
REAL ESTATE ESCROW AFFIDAVIT-
REFINANCE AFFIDAVIT-
REQUEST FOR COPY OF TRANSCRIPT OF TAX FORM 4506-
SECOND HOME RIDER-
SETTLEMENT STATEMENT & SETTLEMENT CHARGES-
SIGNATURE CERTIFICATE AFFIDAVIT-
SURVEY AFFIDAVIT-
TRANSFER OF LIEN-
TRUTH IN LENDING-
UNIFORM RESIDENTAIL LOAN APPLICATION-
W-9
WAIVER OF ESCROW ACCOUNT-
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