I think you make a very valid point - and clearly the SOS office now agrees with you.
I've yet to run into any situations where I felt there may be a question, but if I do, Yoli's approach of just asking what pronouns they prefer to use, then documenting that in the journal, sounds like a good plan, too. I'd probably just not mark anything unless it was a split signing where I felt it was important to make it clear that only one party was personally appearing before me - especially when the provided cert has more than one name pre-printed and I'm leaving that for the next notary. (And if there's more than one person, I'd underline "they/them" anyway.)
If I run into someone who claims to be non-binary, prefers to use "they/them", and hands me an ID with a stated gender that doesn't appear to match, I'd bet they're likely to volunteer what pronouns they prefer. In that situation, it might be helpful to notate that in my journal, regardless of whether or not pronouns are specified in the certificate. That would be especially true if I'm only putting one name in that cert. I think just marking "they/them" on the cert could leave room for potential confusion.
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